How did you get your stuff together? What were the steps?

How did you get your stuff together? What were the steps?

She was a singer. I was a rapper. We both were making waves with our music and met through the circuit. It seemed to be the perfect match.

I at the time was building up my second recording studio under the label of Deep Impakt Recordings and she had several labels she was already working with.

The first evening I went to meet her family seemed to go really well. As we walked back towards her flat I recall us discussing her mother and she said ‘why were you smiling at my mum for?’.

I laughed and said ‘we were talking and said something funny’. I felt a thud hit my chest like a thunderbolt. Marie had punched me hard on the chest. I didn’t know how to respond to this; and so I didn’t respond at all

Over time this escalated into more punches. Bruises, blood, and punches across the stomach, face and back of the head as her jealousy knew no bounds. I was a strong guy but embarassed so kept this all secret as the impact of her blows began to lay waste to my inner psyche.

My business soon began to feel the effects as I began to cry alone on a daily business; and as I stopped becoming pro-active with clients, as the pressure mounted and it became a daily slog to just get anything done the 2nd studio soon collapsed in on itself

With Marie things came to a head one evening when she hit me hard across the face and instinctively I slapped her across the face. The inside of her cheek bled. I grimaced in horror about how this situation was playing out

I called my brother at 2am that night to come and pick me up. As he made the hour journey across London; collected me - he told me this must never happen again and that it could mean prison time for me if I was to hit her again

I didn’t see Marie nor speak to her for one month after that

The absence of her in my life helped stabilise me but I also suffered; part of me still cared for her

Removing that which was most toxic in my life. And the negative associations to it enabled me to drive forward. I saw her again after that one month and realised I wasn’t in love with her anymore. And this was to be the last time I ever saw her again

Sometimes rock bottom is required before you can fight your way back out of the darkness. So Marie, and ultimately music left my life and I shut down my studio soon after

And god it made me stronger

transcribed from getting your life together