How do I become better at controlling emotions?

How do I become better at controlling emotions?

Regulating your emotions is no easy thing, at the best of times.

What has worked for me is cognitive behavioural therapy.

The important thing, to recognise is examples of consistently detrimental behaviour that has a negative impact upon you and the people around you. this will often beginning in the form of emotions, typically rooted in some form of insecurity that exhibits itself as a defence mechanism, to protect yourself

The brain, is a wonderful machine. It will do everything he can to protect itself from pain and this often involves doing things that perhaps make us feel better the very very short-term, But typically can have negative effects over any period longer than that

So for example, you may find that you hang up the phone when someone says something that you don’t like, and immediately it will make you feel a sense of relief and will stop you from saying something that you will regret and this is a form of defence

However, we can recognise that this will end up having very negative consequences for you over time

So, to my suggestion - try and seek out patterns in your behaviour that often begin with some form of negative emotion. If you can map these out into some form of matrix then you will discover that there are consistent moments instances and situations where your emotions are not in your control will stop

Once you are aware of the situation, the next step is to begin to recreate the situations as closely as you can in terms of role-play and then seek out alternative solutions.

Your emotions and rain will resist it, but you will find that when you do this during role-play you will begin to recognise that there are alternative solutions that can have much better consequences for you

I hope this helps!

transcribed from how to better regulate emotions