What can people start doing now that will help them a lot in about five years?

What can people start doing now that will help them a lot in about five years?

his is how you can change your life in 3-6 months of self learning aggressively.

And then for the rest of your life casually. (All from personal experience)

On relationships:

  • Read
    • Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus
    • The five love languages
    • Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps
    • These alone will save you around 2 years of problems
  • Listen more, with your mind . She’ll notice
  • Appreciate they way she is - and show her you do
  • Little gestures of love (e.g. buying her her favourite chocolate bar and leave it under the pillow after a hard day at work) are far more romantic than overblown/romantic cliches/gestures
  • Compliment her - in front of other people. It’s an amazing feeling for her
  • Look at her when she isn’t watching . She will feel it
  • Document her favourite things , quirks, what she mentions she likes, ANYTHING positive. Create calendar reminders every 2-4 weeks to randomly surprise her on the basis of what she said. This is an ongoing list.

On sex

  • Make sex varied , not perfunctory
  • Pleasure her first . Not the other way around
  • Read 'She Comes First '. Will pay you back forever
  • Sex isn’t missionary position as hard as you can. Break that mindset

On cooking:

  • Ask your mum to show your how to cook your favourite meal.
    • Then her favourite meal
  • Cook this for your girlfriend
  • Try follow a recipe. Use Hello Fresh if you want to make it easy to begin with
  • Borrow the cooking expertise of friends that cook - learn how to cook their favourite meals
  • Learn from your girlfriend
  • Cooking well will pay you back forever when you cook for friends, the woman you date, and the woman you’ll love

On your career:

  • Read :
    • How to Think Like a CEO
    • How to Win Friends and Influence People
    • Lynchpin
  • Learn :
    • Excel v. well (VBA lookup/Index/Match/3D Sum/$/&/etc
    • Powerpoint v. well
    • Word v. well
      • They will all ALWAYS pay you back and advance your career
  • Form allegiances with rising stars, networking masters and some senior folk
    • One day you’ll need it
  • Learn from those that have excelled
    • Observe, Learn, Integrate, Apply, Surpass him/her
  • Work is 60% about doing the work well and 40% playing the politics game
    • Do both to the best of your ability
  • Document your wins
    • When it comes to salary review/appraisals/job offers you’ll be happy you did this

For some resume advice you can check this out.

On startup:

  • Read
    • The Four Hour Work Week
    • The Personal MBA
    • Rich Dad Poor Dad
    • Lean Startup
  • Execution matters more
    • There are words, deeds, and then there is action
  • Build the startup as much as can ALONE
    • Then find the team . What you’ve already built will improve the stock of people that want to work with you
  • Focus on sales/pre-sales i.e. validation
    • Everything else is fluff. This is the acid test

For more thoughts on this see here.

On health

  • HIT it
    • High intensity training (140-180 HR) is the only one worth doing
    • You’ll speed up your metabolism, burn fat quicker, get leaner stronger healthier
  • Do it
    • Start small if you have to. But you never need to do much more than even 15 minutes a day to see results
  • If it isn’t hurting. It isn’t working
    • If you’re aren’t wheezing/heaving/barely breathing. It’s not effective
  • Need motivation?
    • Eat in front of the mirror. Naked

On personal growth

  • Read
    • The God Delusion
    • A Short History of Nearly Everything
    • Freakonomics
    • Pick some diverse topics that you like. Read them
  • Spend time around interesting people
    • Dancers, actors, musicians, business owners, sportsmen. But people with a clearly defined PASSION
    • You will learn so much from them
  • Learn a language
    • When you can
    • You can combine one of the above with this
      • e.g. get a foreign girlfriend (is how I did it)
  • Make time to travel
    • The world is beautiful you’ll learn so much
    • You’ll also be forced to talk to strangers
    • You can combine this with other goals
      • e.g. I only run marathons in new cities or countries. So far 18 different cities in 10 countries

On happiness

  • Make time for people you love
    • Friends, family etc
  • Laugh. More . It’s an amazing medicine
  • Follow the health section . It cures so so many bad things (depression, anxiety, body image issues etc)
  • Give back
    • Help a family member, donate to a charity that means something to you, volunteer
      • Whatever it is - it has to be meaningful to you


  • There is only ‘f*ck yes’ or 'hell no’
    • Either do things with commitment or leave it for later or leave it altogether
  • Be reliable
    • To yourself. And then to others
  • Find what you love and the ‘working hard’ will come with it
    • And whilst you’re finding it. Work hard anyway
  • No matter how sh*t your life is or difficult
    • e.g. You’re blind. Have no legs. Are quadriplegic. Remember - there are no excuses.

This life. It’s on you.

transcribed from self help for 5 years